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Being involved in an abusive relationship is emotionally trying and can be physically dangerous. When a abused party wants out of an abusive marriage, they want to know how to talk about divorce with a spouse who’s abusive. First, it is critical to get out of the home before having any divorce conversation. When an abused spouse tries to leave, the abuse can escalate dramatically. This may occur in situations where the spouse was never physically abuse before. Abuse generally results from one party who has emotional problems and feels compelled to control their partner by using threatening and intimidation tactics. 

It is crucial to get any children out of an abusive home as well. Since many abusive spouses go to great lengths in order to control their victims, it is imperative to keep the impending leave secret. Also, the abused party needs to make a plan to get into a safe environment without harm. There are excellent counselors at women’s abuse shelters that can assist an abused individual in leaving the abusive party, obtaining safe shelter and giving information on qualified family law attorneys. These counselors are a terrific support system in cases like these.

The abused party should change passwords to their bank accounts, debit and/or credit cards and social media accounts as well. It is common for the abuser to install hidden spyware onto the abused victims laptop and other devices. To ensure privacy, a person can access their accounts on a public library computer or a trusted friend’s computer. The victim should also try to open a personal banking account if she/he doesn’t already have a separate account. An abused party can obtain a protection from abuse order against the offending spouse. In many cases, the abuser is required to leave home. Victims should judge their particular situation in deciding whether to stay in the home, or go somewhere safer. Women’s shelters are a great place for abused victims to begin healing. It is also important to talk with police, and to contact a reputable family law attorney.

An experienced divorce lawyer can give valuable legal advice in these emotionally-charged abuse cases. It is important for the abused victim to ensure personal safety, as well as custody of any young children. Abusers tend to get violent when their target of abuse leaves. They may also transfer this anger onto unsuspecting friends, neighbors and even their own children. An expert divorce attorney can advise which steps to follow for temporary, then permanent custody of the children. It is not unheard of for the abuser to manipulate others and to try to coax the victim back home.

When looking for a good divorce lawyer, check his/her experience in domestic abuse cases, as well as experience time in a physical courtroom. Women’s abuse shelters may have a lawyer that works for their clients. If not, they will certainly be able to point in the right direction. Support from others, including attorneys, is important during this time.